o hand in hand

i've had an exciting day.

me and my dad have been chit-chatting about taking a day trip to the hawk mountain bird sanctuary for about a year and a half, and today we finally did it. the sanctuary is located about 20 miles south of pottsville, PA-- a town which inevitably has seen a great deal of my $$$, being the home of the yuengling lager brewery. all of this is tucked away in lush, under-appreciated rural PA. the PA known as "pennsyl-tucky," following that old george carlin bit ("ever been to PA?? you've got pittsburgh on one end, philly on the other, and kentucky in between")-- resulting in a somewhat bad reputation for an area so scenic and charming. today i learned that it is most certainly autumn, despite what the tree-less urban sprawl i inhabit daily might suggest. once "upstate," mother nature goes psychedelic. sharp reds, yellows, greens and browns all around-- enough to trigger my inner hippie...

getting to the sanctuary was a pleasure in and of itself, due not only to fall weather but also to traces of the pennsylvania dutch. once we left the highway, it was all storybook farmhouses with hex signs on the sides of them (like the one above). bright red silos and grungy cows. to a city slicker like me, it looked more like a giant model-train-set than "reality." even right-wing propaganda is interesting out there: a painfully handmade wooden billboard in the middle of a farm field-- reading only "bush", a wood-burned sign nailed to a tree on the side of a road reading "teresa is not fit for the white house." and before you begin to panic, yes, "kerry/edwards" made an occasioanl appreance too, more often than i might have guessed.

once at the mountain, we went hiking. didn't really see too many hawks (two or three in the distance, through binoculars), but it was fun anyway. lots of great lookout spots, and you couldn't ask for a more picturesque environment, season, etc.. i love panoramic views, cliche as it may sound. being totally engulfed. the suspended, physical state of apprehension. i need to get out of the fucking city more often. we poked around for 2 hours or so and then had a huge meal (i had spicy catfish, mashed potatoes and corn; we split a sensational apple cobbler) in a diner with hank williams (and co.) on the stereo in the background.

after lunch, things took a strange and fortunate turn. my dad's boss told him to stop into cabela's, a hunter's outfitting retail store. he claimed it was "not to be missed," and he was correct. cabela's was las vegas, home depot and natural history museum rolled into one. the only thing i can think to compare it to-- even remotely-- is south dakota's famous wall drug. upon entering the store, we found, in addition to an endless array of camoflauge, fishing wire and firearms, a four storey high taxidermy wilderness scene. there were literally hundreds of preserved animals, ranging from rattlesnakes to polar bears to adult mooses-- all 100% real-- climbing higher and higher atop a fabricated mountain. it was like a hunting man's tower of babel; a zoo of preserved death. making our way through the store, we found that there were two additional galleries of this sort-- one devoted to deer (with a paul mc carthy-esque talking hunter automaton) and one devoted to the animals of africa (see below-- that's a fucking african elephant!!!). there was also an aquarium, featuring live fish, a shooting gallery, a gun gallery (guns are really expensive) and a restaurant.

say what you will about all of this, but i enjoyed it thoroughly. and yes, the ted nugent-like atmosphere and ample doseage of right-wing paranoia did generate an inevitable cloud of ambivalence, but there is something to be said of the surprise of the damn thing. that moment, upon walking in, of pure "holy shit." and the layered detail to which every excess is taken. you end up with an unimagineable hybrid of commerce, fantasy and museum (with an audience largely foreign to me), and the effect was interesting to say the least. i allowed myself complete seductive abandon in the name of "weirdness," which i suppose is all you can do.

upon leaving i resumed neurotically counting bush vs. kerry lawn signs and bumper stickers, feeling refreshed and a little bewildered, convincing myself to get out of dodge alittle more often...